It´s life...

I got up this morning at 6. I turned on the TV to see the temperature. It was Ok. Rather chilly for my taste, and my EPOC, because later on I had to drink some water with a pill against allergies. I always take pills in the morning. For pain, for anxiety, for…whatever…
And my stupid brain started roaming about, things that hurt me . above all, now that”I´m not well,beyond repair,”. . Now that she must shut her big mouth up…Like the moment on Sunday, before her going away ,when, we were playing cards and she looked at me with a different face and she almost shouted, (out of the blue),and I hope “nobody will hear about this”, “and I hope I´ll never hear a word about, what I have said”, and many shouting and looking at me in a strange way, and I didn´t know what to say or do after that waterfall of shouts,..and then something in me said or thought, “no, not yet, in the future, when I won´t be able to answer,(when my head and my thoughts will be lost in autism), not yet…
And I shouted, “well, ok, until I´m very old, you and nobody will treat me like this or shout to me ” and a lot of “other loud voice things” I don´t remember.
She shouted , “and it´s always the same, a minute before my leaving…”, I went to my room, sat on the bed and my eyes were lost in nothing, when she came in and hugged me and said” sorry, sorry, I love you so…”.I said “it´s Ok”…and she or her mind or whatever…went back to “normal”,or “her shaft was Ok”,… she kissed me and after goodbye kisses at the front door she went away…
And I pondered and pondered over the matter and then I realized that some time before, she spoke about “the only subject she cares about” ,… her strong loves and her strong hates,…she cried,…and I listened, without listening, because it was always , at least for a time, the same record playing over and over again…
Well, it´s life…”se la vi”( no, no vi nada,…es el French “se´t la vie”…
She´s “not nervous now”as she used to be in the past,...and “I am out of goodness or badness , evil and.. whatever"…

Susienflores.